to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
