I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
