I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
