Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize