tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
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dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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