I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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