Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
They took my balls.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
