so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Randomize
