Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
