I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Life is so much better after having sex.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
