He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
