Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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