seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
