i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
whose ass print is on the piano?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
