This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
