Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just googled if crying burns calories
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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