you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.