some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
did i just pee glitter
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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