My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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