Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
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