you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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