in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize
