wat bout pragnant strippers??
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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