He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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