I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
