I'll bet she douches with gravy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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