I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize