you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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