His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
