i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Help. Why am I so naked?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
