Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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