This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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