never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
