I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
