Cold hands, warm shart.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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