I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I am one with the molecules
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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