i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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