My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
