how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
