another moral hangover. fuck.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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