If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
