i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
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woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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