We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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