oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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