She's JV to your varsity
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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