# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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