believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
