hell yes lets make some ravioli
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
