Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
