Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
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