sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
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ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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