Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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