Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
