so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
