Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
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I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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