"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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