If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I would fuck him just for his dog
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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